Thoughts that were duct taped to my cerebrum

the psychological effect of psychology on my psyche

Am I the only one who can’t take personality tests or quizzes or anything remotely psychologically related without worrying about whether a certain answer could skew my results completely? Just knowing that choosing answer A instead of answer B could totally change my outcome drives me crazy and I suddenly have no idea whether the answers that appeal to me are merely chosen on a whim thanks to a tiny little rebellious part of me, or whether my personality really does prefer the word “casual” to the word “structured.”

When I’m supposed to choose “funky” or “classic,” do I choose classic because that’s how I tend to act and dress? or do I choose funky, because I like the idea of funky? Does funky mean I appreciate orange platform shoes, and does classic mean my personality results will be “boring, standard, structured person who has a future in general fields?” Because some days, I am considerably more boring than some people, and other days I feel like leaving notes on strangers cars at school. How do I summarize such a broad spectrum in one little test?

Sigh.

Ironically, when I took a communication style test for one of my college classes, my result said I think too hard. I guess this is proof. which means I apparently CAN sum up my personality on a piece of paper. But I am going to stop thinking now and go to bed. because sleeping is an integral part of my personality.

Alicia <3

Tags: personality, tests, thinking

“But why do they flee?”

The other day my government book was talking about different forms of government - monarchy, oligarchy, etc. there are certain things i’m supposed to take notes on in government, and my notes were relatively straightforward and brief until i got to the section on communism. Naturally once i started reading i got interested and kind of dove into a mess of spiritual parallels, the most exciting and bearable of which i will try to share with you. sorry if it’s confusing [:

There were a few main things i thought were interesting. The first one is that most forms of government have some sort of standard or code of laws which the chief ruler and/or the legislature for the people must abide by - communism doesn’t seem to have the same thing. i haven’t really researched this to be sure, but to me it resembles literal lawlessness, which is at least interesting to think about. Also, one of the main differences between communism and a traditional dictatorship is that a tyrannical dictator eventually dies, being replaced by someone else (who has a significant chance of being better/fairer, since dictatorships aren’t decided by blood relations but by popular vote or some other un-hereditary means), but communism does not die along with a communist leader. it is a system, not just a man, and so an instrumental communist dying does not positively affect the people being oppressed.

Also worth noting is the fact that a communist ruler is never satisfied with the power that he has. He keeps reaching for more and more, throwing away his country and his people, to achieve his own insatiable wishes and desires. This is why Communism is so far “over the line” of typical morality - because the ruler has gone after power so recklessly that nothing else matters anymore. The idea is to give absolutely no freedom to anyone in any circumstances, so that the ruler feels capable and in control of the situation.

This is very much like how Satan imprisons people every day. People want to have control over their lives and do their own thing. After a while nothing and no one else really matters. Pretty soon they have gone past so many lines in their lives that others start getting hurt because of their actions. The irony of it is that even though people think they are controlling their own life, Satan is actually controlling it for them. The person becomes imprisoned in their own lifestyle until there is no freedom left in any area of their life, not even in thought or personality. the ultimate goal of communism is similar: “the extinction of human personality as the individual becomes thoroughly subject to the state.”

God, on the other hand, has a plan for every believer to use his or her personality for God’s glory. Under God, people are developed, not depressed.

Also, i was pretty surprised to learn that Socialism is much like Communism in several ways. it is not looked down on quite as harshly as Red movements are, but people have admitted in the past that if you ever needed to convert a nation to communism, slowly integrate socialism first. it opens the door for a Communistic society. When i read about this i immediately thought of how much easier sin is to overlook when it creeps into your life slowly than when it just jumps right out in front of you. Deceit is careful and calculated in both cases, and can cause deterioration of a life or a just legal system if it is slowly eased in unnoticed.

My government book used a quote from Whattaker Chambers: “The Communist vision is the vision of men without God. It is the vision of man’s mind displacing God as the creative intelligence of the world.” The scary thing is, with America the way it is today, that statement could be true about us. i’m not saying the U.S. will be a communist country anytime soon or anything like that, but i do think that there are so many parallels between a nightmare government and a nightmare spiritual life that we need to consider where we are at with God to preserve our nation.

so, there’s my thoughts for today. Don’t get me started on how America is gradually becoming more of a democracy to prepare the way for the Antichrist - that’s another day’s post [:

Alicia <3

P.S. all the thinking about suppressed personality and controlling thinking and everything reminded me of Kurt Vonnegut’s Harrison Bergeron. The fact that all the people in the story were burdened to be made equal makes me think it tends toward a depiction of socialism (where all are expected to be equal and place their society as a whole as first priority). Yet, i haven’t heard of socialism that harsh before and it was not just one man enforcing laws, like a dictatorship would be - many were in on the deal. Also many methods of control were used - psychological, physical, and the whole nine yards. That makes me think it was showing a form of Communism instead. Maybe it is something else entirely, i do not know. Comments anyone? (if you haven’t read Harrison Bergeron, look it up online or something. it’s short and intriguing.)

Tags: communism, dictator, dictatorship, God, Harrison Bergeron, Kurt Vonnegut, personality, ruler, satan, socialism, society, suppressed